A Wolf's Dilemma - Part 1
by TheWarriorBard
Summary: Ylwa, the mother of Vilkas and Farkas, lives with a feral werewolf pack and feels that something is missing from her life. A backstory of sorts for Vilkas and Farkas, focusing on their mother and her life. Where canon was available, it was followed. I don't own any of the characters or settings that were featured or mentioned in Skyrim or any other Elder Scrolls game.
1. Chapter 1

Ylwa ran through the woods, picking up speed as she went. The damp, earthy smell of the forest floor filled her nostrils, along with the scent of the bull elk that she was tracking. In places, the silvery moonlight peeked through the canopy of darkened green leaves above her. She ran until she felt as though she was one with the wilderness around her, her paws coming in contact with the cushiony carpet of humus below her only long enough to propel her forward. The wind created by her speed whooshed through her fur. She breathed in the deep, invigorating aroma of the land, and allowed it to flow through her, both satisfying her and driving her onwards. She must keep running on, on, on, until all of her needs were met, or until she was so exhausted she didn't care. She needed to run, to become one with the nature around her. She needed the thrill of the hunt – to find the choicest animal that she could – not an easy catch, but something that would give her a challenge – and to pursue it until it was hers. Then there was the other need – one deep down that she had not found a solution for in her nightly ventures. There was an empty space in her life, and this empty space drove her to go out and run, night after night. These runs had become a regular thing as of late – she would leave as soon as it was dark, and run and hunt until she had no energy left, dragging herself back home in the morning, finally spent enough to sleep.

Sensing that she was nearing the elk she had been seeking, Ylwa slowed down and steadied her breathing. Once her breath was again light enough that she did not fear being overheard, she began to creep towards the elk. He was an enormous bull elk, with an antler span so large that he certainly had to be selective when choosing a path through this forest. Ylwa crouched down and observed him. He was lying down, his legs folded under him, asleep. Ylwa's heart dropped a bit at how easy this would be. She could leap on him and rip out his throat before he even realized what was going on. But there would be no fun in that. The thrill that she sought was a long, challenging chase before a satisfying end to her hunt, with the prey struggling the entire way. She let out a low growl. Her prey lifted his head and began to move his ears about, assessing the danger of the sound he heard. Ylwa growled again, a bit more fiercely this time. The elk jumped to his feet and took off in the opposite direction. Ylwa ran through a thicket after him, intentionally making as much noise as she could. She smelled his fear as his heart rate spiked and he began to run at top speed. Good! She raced after him.

Ylwa followed the elk for at least an hour, but possibly longer. Time passed differently when she was in a life-and-death pursuit. He eventually led her onto a plain that went on and on. After some time, Ylwa tired of pursuing him across the barren land, and decided to end her chase. She slowed down as they neared a pile of boulders, allowed the panting elk to pull away from her and eventually stop to catch his breath. As she hid behind the boulders, she slowed her own breathing down and then began to creep towards him again. As she slowly approached the elk, she noticed that none but the brightest stars were visible any longer. When she was several yards away and still unnoticed, she made a combination of dashes and lunges, ending in a massive leap towards the elk's back. At that very moment, he took off in a run again, and she almost missed, just barely grabbing hold of his hindquarters. He nearly lost his balance as she dug in with both teeth and claws and hung on for dear life. He kicked at her and hit one of her hind legs. Undeterred, she pulled herself up onto his back and began to climb up towards his neck. The elk shook and broke the rear half of Ylwa's body loose. As her rear legs went flying off the side of the elk, he was thrown off-balance and fell over. Ylwa used this opportunity lunge for his throat and end it all. Taking down a bull elk on her own was quite a feat. She wished someone had been there to witness her accomplishment, as surely no one back home would believe her when she told them about tonight's adventure.

By the time Ylwa had finished her meal, the sky was grey, and she could see strips of color beginning to peek over the horizon. Exhausted, she began to think about sleep. It was only thanks to the elk heart she consumed that she had not lost her hunter's form already. There was no way that she could make it home before collapsing from exhaustion, so she decided to find a place to bed down for the day. Maybe her adventures tomorrow night would take her closer to home, so that she could drag herself back to her family in the morning.

The openness of the plains that Ylwa found herself in made her feel unsafe, so she headed back towards her forest at a casual lope. On her way back, she smelled something that caught her attention. She changed her course and approached the smell. She found a place where the grass was all trampled down, and saw a few places where it looks like bodies had been sleeping, all surrounding a cold fire pit – a campsite of sorts. What piqued her interest, though, was that these didn't smell like regular humans. Regular humans she has seen plenty of from a distance. This smelled like…. more of her kind? A different pack? She supposed that other packs could exist, but her family were the only others like her that she had ever heard of. She quickly moved along, not wanting a run-in with these others, and made a mental note to ask about the subject when she arrived home.

Once Ylwa was deeply enough into the trees that she felt safe and relaxed again, she began to seek out an unused corner somewhere in the woods that she could sleep the day away in. She eventually found just the spot that she was looking for – a nice, cozy place (but what part of this cushiony ground would not be cozy?), hidden away from sight by some shrubbery. There was also a creek not too far away. Ylwa walked right into the creek and drank deeply of its cold, refreshing water. She then rolled around in the shallow water until most of the blood had rinsed out of her fur. There would be time for a more thorough bath once she woke up that evening. By that time, it was broad daylight out, and she was ready to settle in for some rest before she changed into her more vulnerable form.

As she settled down in the nest of leaves and other soft, comforting substances that the forest provided, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. Her muscles were exhausted and her mind was satisfied with the hunt that she had experienced, but that restless empty feeling had not abated. She would rest much better if it would go away, but instead it only grew worse with each day that passed. Eventually, she was able to shut her thoughts off and drift off to a light, fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke around midday, Ylwa had shed her fur and claws for skin, hands, and long, dark hair. She was parched, so she climbed out of her bed of leaves and made her way over to the nearby creek. She climbed all the way into the creek and drank deeply of its cool, invigorating water. She then washed herself thoroughly and scrubbed the blood out of the few remaining scraps of clothes that survived last night's transformation. She walked back to her bed of leaves, laid down, and drifted off to the sounds of birds and other forest animals.  
The next time that Ylwa woke up, it was late afternoon, almost evening. She lounged on her bed for a bit, taking in the sounds and scents around her that assured her everything was safe. She was fairly hungry, and the need to run and hunt was again very strong, but it was too soon for another transformation. In addition to that, even though she felt much more vulnerable in this state, she had been warned time and again by some well-meaning relation or another that she should always wait until the cover of night before giving in to her beast blood. Eventually, Ylwa climbed out of her bed and made her way down to the creek for another drink of water. She then began meandering further into the forest, towards the location that her pack called home. In order to hold her gnawing hunger at bay, she picked and ate some berries as she traveled.  
About an hour and a half into her trip, darkness fell. Ylwa was still unable to transform into her wolf form, as her transformation yesterday had been a few hours after darkness had fallen. The birds and other daytime creatures settled into their homes for the night, and the nighttime creatures emerged. Ylwa traveled onward to the sound of hooting owls, swooshing bats, cheeping insects, and those not-quite-identifyable nighttime noises that can always be found in a forest.  
The forest seemed to have an energy of its own that informed the woodland creatures and those well-attuned to their surroundings when something was not normal. Ylwa, on full alert, felt when the atmosphere in the woods around her began to change, and she knew that something was coming. She quickly ducked into a bush and listened. Far off, she could hear rustling and footsteps. The footsteps were not quiet, as if the maker of the sounds had no interest in concealing their presence. A creature (or creatures, by the sound of it) who lacked caution, then. All the more reason to be careful. Soon, she saw three large, dark forms dashing through the trees a couple hundred yards away. Her own kind, it would appear, but no relatives of hers.  
Once the intruders had passed, Ylwa crept over to where the three strangers had passed by and sniffed the air – the same three whose old campsite she found that morning. Well, they appear to be gone now, she thought to herself. All the same, she crept back over to the bush and walked parallel to their trail, several yards away.  
Soon, Ylwa felt that her ability to change had returned to her, and quickly allowed the wolf to take over her human form. Bones crunched and popped and ligaments stretched and bent as her entire structure changed from that of a human to a large, hairy beast. Elated, she took off through the woods at top speed, delighted to be free from the confines of her human body. By this time, she was fairly hungry. So after a quick dash of delight, she began using her heightened sense of smell to seek out food. She could smell that there had been a deer nearby, but with a fawn. She had no interest in depriving a fawn of its mother. There had been a couple of foxes nearby as well. As the breeze shifted, she scented a rabbit – a terrified rabbit. She followed the breeze. As she drew near, she again caught whiff of the others she saw pass by earlier. They must have awoken the poor rabbit and scared it half to death, because rabbits aren't usually up at this hour. While they are certainly flighty prey, their hearts are also not usually racing as fast as this one's was. She decided to do it the favor of putting it out of its miserable, terrified existence by making it her early-evening snack.  
After making quick work of the rabbit that she found cowering in the bottom of a tree, Ylwa again ran off into the night. She ran faster and faster, until she felt that she was one with the forest she was flying through. She blocked out of her mind everything but the trees, the ground that her feet were barely landing upon as they launch her onward, and the wind - blowing through her fur, being pulled in and out of her nose as she breathed, and igniting pleasure sensors all over her body. As she discovered the trail of a young male deer, she instinctively turned toward the direction that he went off in. Oblivious to all else, Ylwa allowed her desire to hunt consume her entire being.  
After following the trail of the deer with an inhuman focus, Ylwa noticed a smell that seemed wrong. She scrambled to a stop as she disengaged her brain from the hunt just enough to begin to evaluate the situation. Blood. Someone else's prey. As these thoughts pushed their way through, Ylwa came sliding into a clearing where she saw the three strangers gathered around a deer. Her deer. No. Their deer. As all three of them raised their heads from their meal and looked at her, she lowered herself submissively and began to back away from them, hoping that they would go back to eating and forget about this encounter. No such luck.  
The group of three strangers consisted of a female, a larger male, and a younger male. The larger male, followed by the female, left their prey and boldly approached Ylwa. She began to lower herself submissively to the ground, but then had second thoughts, leapt up, and ran at top speed in the other direction. The three gave chase.  
Ylwa didn't know how long she had run, or how far from her home this run had taken her, but before too long, the larger male, she assumed the leader of the group, had caught up to her, and began running alongside her. Once she saw that he meant her no harm, she slowed her pace a bit to catch her breath, and the female pulled up alongside them as well. Their other friend seemed to have fallen behind. Eventually, the female stopped, sniffed the air, and veered off to the right. The male slowed and changed his course to follow after the female. He invited Ylwa to join them – to hunt by their sides. Generally reserved and rather distrustful of strangers, she shocked even herself by taking the stranger up on his offer.  
She really should head back to her family tonight, running up a river on her way back so as to hide her trail from these strangers. Her family, a pack of werewolves who lived outside of human law, had raised her and all of her cousins to be distrustful of strange humans. They never said anything about other humans who were like them, though. She didn't even know that such a thing existed. She was pleased with her discovery. She was also pleased with the sensations she felt flowing through her body at the male's presence. She sensed the same feeling coming from him that she had sensed on many males previously when they were near a female that they found appealing. She had seen what that feeling led to, and had even felt some of the males directing that emotion towards her recently, though she never allowed them to get any further than that. With this one, though, she felt a strange excitement within herself that ignited every part of her being, more so even than hunting did. And so she followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Ylwa awoke the next day nestled up against the stranger, neither of them in fur any longer. Not even in the scraps of clothing that were not destroyed by a transformation. His two friends seemed to have disappeared. Well, this was awkward. Ylwa lifted her head slightly and began sniffing the air, afraid of waking the slumbering stranger beside her. In her human form, though, her nose was not worth nearly as much as in her other form. She couldn't smell any water source anywhere nearby. Why would she have slept somewhere with no water? That was a strict requirement for anywhere that she camped out at after her nightly runs. Next question, where was her clothing? That she quickly located a few yards away. Mortified, she laid still and collected her thoughts before moving any further, trying to recall everything she could about what happened the night before – everything she could about this stranger beside her. She might need to use it against him.  
Last night was a blur. It was almost like the night when one of her cousins had brought home some "mead" and she woke up with a pounding headache and few memories the next morning. It seemed more likely that she had just given in to the wolf so fully last night that she was not humanly present for most of the night. She had experienced times before where she was so controlled by her beast that she lost all human consciousness. Her first transformation had been one of those moments.  
What she could recall was running with this stranger and his pack beside her. She had a faint, pleasant memory of taking down two animals with them….. or was it three? She recalled running in the plains that she had discovered yesterday morning. She didn't recall when and where his friends had disappeared to. All that her mind was filled with was him. Had she? Yes…. Ylwa blushed with embarrassment. Yes, she had mated with him. She began to scold herself. He was a stranger, and she was supposed to become the mate of one of the leader's sons. She had no interest in them, but they were the best prospects in her pack. Would she be able to go back to her pack after this? Was there some rule that she has to stay with him and his two stranger friends now that she had…. been with him? Certainly the twin sons of the pack leader who were supposed to be her prospects would not want her any longer if they found out. Would she be an outcast, not welcome any longer? Her mind was filled with thoughts of panic at being an outcast for the rest of her life.

This stranger, though... That restless feeling she had felt prior to encountering these others had been silenced by a desire for more of what she experienced last night. Ylwa blocked out the part of her that said this was a bad idea, and spent the next week or so running and hunting all over her woods and the regions beyond, accompanying and consumed with this new interest of hers.


	4. Chapter 4

Ylwa learned that her new "friend" was named Jergen, and that he had a pack beyond just the two that she had seen when she met him. His pack was a band of warriors known as the Companions who were not all werewolves. As a matter of fact, those who were wolves had to keep their other identity secret from those who were not. It sounded like he genuinely loved his "family" of non-relatives, but Ylwa couldn't understand how someone could consider those who are fully human to be family. She had grown up on stories of humans slaughtering her kind for sport. From his description, they sounded like great people, but that would never be the same as a family who knew you for what you were.

Eventually, the excitement that had initially spurred Ylwa on had faded, and reality began to sink in. Jergen and Ylwa both realized that they could not go on like this forever. Jergen was drawn back to his responsibilities and his "pack", for whom he had to play pretend. Ylwa had begun to have a nagging feeling creep in that chastised her for probably worrying those who cared the most about her. She pleaded with Jergen to escort her to within a day's journey of her family so that she could go back alone and let them know that she was fine. She assured him that, once they knew she was okay, they could run off together and live a life somewhere alone, eventually starting a pack of their own. Jergen wanted nothing to do with that plan. He was fine with Ylwa going back to tell her family that she was okay and would be striking out on her own, but was adamant that she return home with him. Ylwa was adamant that she would never visit his home. Eventually, Ylwa decided to compromise with Jergen and offered for him to go with her to join her family, since he seemed to place such a high value on having an established pack.  
"They will be a little rough on you at first, but eventually they will come to love you, just like they do the rest of us." Ylwa pleaded.  
"I am going back home, and that's that. I can't go live with some feral pack. I am a member of the Companions. I have duties and responsibilities."  
"You will receive duties and responsibilities once you are accepted as a member of my pack!" Ylwa bluffed, hoping that was how it worked.  
"You don't understand. I can't just walk away from my duties to the Companions. Joining your pack and taking up duties to them would mean that I was not fulfilling the responsibilities that I already have to my family!" Jergen insisted.  
Ylwa didn't understand. His secret-keeping family was no family at all. "Well I can't leave my family, because they need me."  
"For what? What sorts of responsibilities could a pack with no ties to human civilization possibly need from their members?" he asked. "Collecting food and chasing intruders off of their land? You have a chance to make a difference in Skyrim, or at least the opportunity to live any life that you want. Surely you would like to have more than they can offer you. I can offer you whatever sort of lifestyle your heart desires."  
"I don't care about your Skyrim! And life with my pack is everything that I want." Ylwa declared obstinately.  
"You don't even know what else is out there, do you?"  
"I know enough to know that I don't want any of it. It is all garbage." she fibbed. The truth was, she would like to know what else was out there, but she didn't particularly care to find out through him and his non-family. And she absolutely didn't want to have to hide who she was, which certainly would be a requirement if she went with him. "I am going home." And she immediately turned around and began to walk away.  
Jergen stood there in stunned silence for a moment. How could she not want him? He had offered her the possibility to have any kind of life that she wanted. There were plenty of jobs coming in, he could just pick up extra work in order to pay for anything that she desired. She really must not have been able to imagine the possibilities. And even if he was dirt poor, was this week not enough to convince her that he alone was worth having? A few minutes later, he went running after her.  
"Ylwa!" he shouted. "Wait a minute. Let's try this conversation again. I am sure that we can work something out."  
"No." she replied flatly, and turned to look at him. "You will never leave your precious so-called "family" to join mine, so there is no way for this to work." She snarled at him with a feral gleam in her eye. "Go away." She could feel his heart sink, and he just stood there, planted to the spot, until she was far enough away that she couldn't sense his disappointed presence any more.


	5. Chapter 5

p class="p1" /p  
p class="p1" /p  
p class="p4"span style="font-size: 14.7px; text-indent: 48px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"Once she was a few miles away from Jergen and had doubled back to make sure that she wasn't being followed, Ylwa burst into a run towards the nearest river. She didn't stop at the edge, but ran right to the middle of the river. As she stopped, she plopped down right in the middle of the river to think. /spanem style="font-size: 14.7px; text-indent: 48px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"Why didn't I listen to that voice of reason in my mind and run far away from that accursed stranger? Why didn't he like me enough to leave his "companions" for me? Will my pack accept me back?/emspan style="font-size: 14.7px; text-indent: 48px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;" As the fact sank in that her prospects of an exciting life had ended, Ylwa sat in the river, alternating between devastation and anger, until long after nightfall./spanspan class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 14.7px; text-indent: 48px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;" /span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1"If she was to return to her family and hide what had transpired this past week, the first thing that Ylwa would need to do was to get the stranger's smell off of her. That, in addition to traveling without leaving a trail to follow, was where the river would come in handy. As the night continued on, she was able to pull herself back together long enough to do what needed to be done. She submerged herself in the river repeatedly, scrubbing every part of her body, trying to remove that offending scent. She could find some fragrant plants to wash herself with sometime over the next couple of days./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Besides her few frantic bouts of plunging and scrubbing, Ylwa spent most of that first night rather listlessly. At the thought that she was returning to her old, mundane life, the feeling of emptiness inside of Ylwa grew. The second and third night she transformed, running a bit. At one point, she smelled a small deer that would make a nice, easy catch. She thought about hunting it, but didn't quite have the motivation. Running through the woods and hunting – formerly favorite pastimes of hers – seemed somewhat lackluster now that she realized those things were likely to be the biggest excitement she would ever have in life./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAfter three nights, Ylwa felt that she was ready to make her return home. It was the evening of the fourth night. She had been gone from home for… how long had it been? Two weeks now? She found some more fragrant plants and scrubbed herself down in them while bathing in the river one more time. She then transformed and began the last leg of the journey back to her pack. Unlike on her usual runs, her legs felt like heavy tree stumps that night. She was not in a hurry to arrive. She took her time, slowing more and more as she neared them. Because she didn't hunt and consume the warm, oozing heart of any prey, her transformation did not last the night. When she was only a couple of miles away from her pack, Ylwa stopped. She took a few minutes to take in the sights and scents of home and calm her racing class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1"Once she had as much of a handle on her feelings as she thought she was going to have, and had expunged all thoughts of the stranger from her mind (just in case anyone could tell), she began to travel the final couple of miles back to where her pack would be either sleeping or just arriving home after a night run. She smelled them before she could see them or hear them. Suddenly, a longing to be with those she loved overwhelmed her. Who cared what they thought, or how the life they offered seemed to be insufficient? She missed them and wanted to see them again. She practically flew the rest of the way class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa quickly spotted her great aunt, Ralfina, bending over a pot, stirring something that smelled absolutely fantastic to Ylwa. The delightfulness of the smell was compounded by the fact that she had barely eaten anything the last few days. Ylwa ran up to her aunt, shouting out her name, and then smothering her in an class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Ylwa! I began to wonder whether you had forgotten about us." Ralfina fussed./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "I couldn't forget about you." Ylwa said, hugging her aunt again./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Some females do, when their time comes. They will go away and we won't see them for years, or ever again. I am glad that you were not one of them." Her aged aunt told her, as she sized Ylwa up to see what sort of condition her health seemed to be in and then promptly offered her an empty bowl. Ylwa flushed, not sure exactly what her aunt meant by "when their time comes", but feared that perceptive Aunt Ralfina might have some idea what she had been up to lately./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa licked her lips greedily as Ralfina ladled some of that delicious-smelling stew into Ylwa's wooden bowl. As soon as the bowl was filled, Ylwa greedily tipped the bowl and started pouring some into her mouth, burning her tongue in the process. She saw a bowl full of bread sitting on a log a few feet away. She grabbed a loaf and dipped that into her stew so that she could savor the stew's delectable flavor without burning herself class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ralfina was technically a grandmother of sorts to the entire pack. The mate of a pack leader who had passed long ago, she oversaw the care of all of the pack's current members. She was their healer, who made potions from herbs and other ingredients to cure minor illnesses, and was also sort of the mother figure of the entire pack. Once pups grew old enough to wander around the campsite on their own and did not require constant supervision (usually around 3 years of age), their upbringing became the responsibility of the entire pack, not just their biological parents. Sometimes they stayed on with their biological mother (and father, if they were a bonded pair) for longer, but many of them enjoyed the excitement of crashing at the home of whoever they happened to be with when they finally ran out of energy. This freed up the parents to hunt, gather supplies that the pack needed, patrol their lands in order to ensure that no one wandered too near, and produce more pups. While there were always an abundance of aunts and uncles about to let the pups know when they overstepped a boundary, Ralfina was the one the young pups usually went to for comfort and affection. Even most of the adults went to her for her expert advice./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Just then, a few of the younger pups came clamoring up and began peeking into and chattering around the pot of stew, removing any further opportunity for Ylwa to be subjected to perceptive remarks by Ralfina./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Step back, children." Ralfina told the youngsters. "You're not about to starve… unlike Ylwa here." she added./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" emSo it was more obvious than I thought that I haven't eaten much the last few days./em The children, before oblivious, then noticed Ylwa sitting there. A couple of them gave her stares of astonishment, like she was a ghost returned from the dead. Ralfina handed out bowls to each of the children. She then ladled half a bowl of stew into each one. She told the children to go sit down, and then handed out half a loaf of bread to class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "That stew is too hot to eat, so how would you like a story while we wait for it to cool off?" Ralfina asked the children. They all agreed enthusiastically, so Ralfina plunged into a story about an adventurer who wandered all across the land as a werewolf, slaying enemies and punishing those who made a habit of doing bad things to others. Eventually, the hero of the story ended up facing an ancient evil that had returned to destroy the world. The whole wandering around and making the land a safer place theme reminded Ylwa a bit too much of Jergen's talk of his companions. She left before hearing the fate of this hero and their ancient evil opponent./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Children in Ylwa's pack were not abundant. Plenty of pups were born to members of her pack, but only about half of them survived their first few years of life. She knew that this was an issue that had the pack elders very concerned. One time when she and some of her friends decided to eavesdrop on a council meeting, this topic was brought up, along with such frightening words as "merger" and "importing fresh blood". She hoped that they weren't considering sending more members of the pack away, such as they did with those that they deemed too weak or unsuitable to take the blood. She also hoped that they didn't try to replace Ralfina. It wasn't her fault that not all of the pups made it. She was more upset about their deaths than anyone./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa wandered listlessly through her pack's campsite, halfway hoping that she would run into some of her friends that were close to her age, halfway hoping not to run into anyone who might have noted her absence. She was tired, but wasn't sure where she would choose to sleep that day. She had outgrown sleeping in the homes of random aunts and uncles years ago, but did not yet have a shelter of her own. Only one of her close friends had chosen to build herself a shelter so far. While the topic was coming up more and more amongst those she grew up with, those of her age usually slept outdoors when the weather permitted. When the weather was foul, they would find a corner of the large tent used for community meals during bad weather to curl up in. The shelter that most of her family members chose was a tent made of skins that they had hunted themselves. As her pack had known a fairly peaceful existence as of late, though, more and more of them began opting for permanent homes rather than shelters that they could take down in a hurry and carry with them if they were discovered. Having your own home, whether that be a tent or a permanent structure, was sort of a right of passage that a young wolf usually only embarked on if they were soon to become a parent or wished to establish themselves as stable (generally to obtain a higher rank in the pack or to acquire a mate).span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa had picked her way through most of the camp without having to engage anyone with more than an exaggeratedly weary "good morning" that she hoped would prevent further questions, when she saw Rezso, her pack's leader, swiftly approaching. Great. The very last person I wanted to run into. /span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1""Ylwa!" he addressed her. "You have been absent for quite some time. I am glad to see you back. Nothing's wrong, is it?" he prodded./span/p 


	6. Chapter 6

p class="p1"span class="s1"Great! The very LAST thing I want to do right now is have an in-depth conversation with Rezso regarding my whereabouts over the last few class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Nothing's wrong. I have just been doing some hunting." Ylwa responded, plastering an artificial grin on her face… but no too large of a grin, lest it arouse suspicion. "The forest is beautiful this time of year."br / "Mm-hmm. Have you been alone all this time?" he / Ylwa was practically squirming under her skin at this point. He knew, didn't he? But how could he possibly know? They spent most of their time in a land far from her pack's land. But he knows that she wouldn't have wandered that far off and stayed gone that long on her class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1""No." Ylwa responded bashfully, averting her eyes from his gaze. Even if he had no idea what she was doing, she had been warned time and again not to talk to strangers./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Who were you with?"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa knew that he would be able to tell if she were lying, so she might as well tell him the truth (but as little of it as possible). "I was chasing this large bull elk. I caught him, by the way, all on my own." Ylwa hoped that this tidbit might do at least a little to distract him from the topic at hand. "I chased him for a long time, and by the time that I had taken him down and eaten my fill, I had no idea where I was. It was in a place I had never been before." She had best leave the details of the area out, in case there was something he knew about that area that she should have known beforehand. "I starting traveling in what I think was the right direction, but eventually it became light out, so I had to find a place to settle in for the day." Ylwa continued, thinking it best to share all the details of her night before she met them so that she would have something to downplay the encounter with Jergen and his pack next to. "So I slept that day, and got up in the evening and started to walk back towards home. On my way back, I was found by some others. They were like us. I tried to leave them, but they were following me, and I didn't want to lead them back here, so I sort of wandered off for a while."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Rezso waited for a pause in Ylwa's dialogue to ask her, "They were following you. In a threatening way?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "No. Not a threatening way. They wanted me to hunt with them. So I hunted with them for a little bit. Then when I left them, I spent a few days out in the woods, making sure that I didn't leave a trail for them to follow back here."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "How many of them were there?" Rezso questioned./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Three."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "And they were all like us?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Yes." Ylwa answered, and then decided to try to bring an end to this conversation by moving the topic in a different direction. "Why did no one ever tell me that there were others like us out there?" she asked./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "I suppose that's a topic you will have to learn about now. But you must be exhausted after your adventure. You are sure that you weren't followed back here?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Yes."span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Are you okay? They didn't hurt you in any way, did they?" Rezso asked./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "No. They were very good to me, and gave me an equal portion of all of their kills." Ylwa responded./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Meet me at my tent tonight. I would like to go hunt with you this evening. Until then, don't speak a word of these others to anyone." Rezso ordered./span/p  
p class="p2" Ylwa nodded her assent. emThis is the VERY LAST thing that I wanted/em, Ylwa thought. She had some trouble falling asleep that day, worrying about what that night's encounter would hold. Rezso had never ordered her to hunt with him before. She wondered if he was taking her out to kill her. She didn't think that he would send her away like one of the weak ones, because they had already gifted her with the blood. Was there a way to un-gift the beast from someone? Ylwa lay awake for what felt like most of the day, running different lies and half-truths through her head, trying to determine which ones Rezso would be the least likely to question./p 


	7. Chapter 7

p class="p1"span class="s1" Ylwa's "hunt" with Rezso ended up being every bit as intense as she had expected. Anything involving Rezso usually was intense. The "hunt" turned out to be an ambush interrogation. He led her out into the woods, where three others were waiting – his son (the oldest one, who was expected to take his place, not either of the ones that Ylwa might have ended up with), and two of the other more important males in the pack. Ylwa was certain that she was there to be executed. They ended up grilling Ylwa further about who these other three were, where they hailed from, what their attitude and demeanor were like, and what their business was. The topic of whether she might have had… "close interactions" with any of them didn't come up, for which Ylwa was highly grateful. Her inquisitors seemed more interested in determining whether these strangers posed any threat to the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" When the group had finished interrogating her, Rezso took Ylwa hunting with himself and his son. On the way back from their hunt, after transforming back into their human skin, he explained to her how there were once many packs of werewolves scattered throughout this land. The numbers of werewolves were dwindling, he explained, because werewolves were hated and hunted by humankind. Sometimes a human would just happen upon a pack in their travels. Sometimes someone would catch sight of a werewolf at night and would track them back to their home. There had even been known to be traitors amongst werewolf ranks who would betray their pack for some reason or another, and divulge their location to humans. Sometimes someone would betray a rival pack and send hunters to kill them all off./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" As a response, all feral packs had become very defensive. They would kill any strangers who lingered too long in their lands. Many packs, such as hers, had closed themselves off to contact with other packs. This is why they didn't tell the younger members that others of their kind existed – because they didn't want them to mingle with strangers and give away their pack's location to a traitor. Many years ago, they had decided that it was best if their younger members only knew of two categories – evil humans and their own class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1" By the time that Ylwa and Rezso had arrived back at camp, her head was whirling and her entire body felt as though it was made of lead. She was drained both by the information that Rezso had laid on her, and the night's earlier inquisition by Rezso and the others. She dragged herself over to Ralfina's campfire and ate some of the delicious roast venison that she had prepared, and then went off and found a nice corner to sleep in for the day./p 


	8. Chapter 8

p class="p1"span class="s1" The next couple of months had passed in their usual monotonous manner. After her night of confession exchanges with the leader, Ylwa had been accepted back into the fold without question. She even felt like she had a bit of something going on between herself and Eyolf, one of Rezso's twin sons. She had not yet encouraged his advances because she just wasn't feeling that desire any longer, but they had hunted together a few times, and seemed, from her perceptions, to be spending more time together around the campsite than they had before. br / Despite having gotten back into the regular routine of things at home, Ylwa had somehow felt increasingly… different. One evening, Ralfina asked Ylwa to go help her gather some potion ingredients. Ylwa was thrilled. She always loved spending time with this wise, old aunt. Ylwa found Ralfina's serene confidence to be very calming. If the right context came up, she might even ask about her current predicament with Eyolf. She feared that if she kept rejecting any hint of venturing a bit further than friendship, he might eventually move on from her. br / Later on into the evening, after chatting for a while about their everyday lives, Ralfina asked Ylwa, "How would you like to assist me in my work for a while?" br / Ylwa was floored. She had dreamed of becoming Ralfina's apprentice – aiding her in her work, listening to her stories and wise advice daily, and basking in her calm presence. "I would love to!" Ylwa responded enthusiastically. Usually only the more "settled" pack members were offered a position that kept them around the campsite. The contribution of those of Ylwa's rank was usually hunting and bringing home meat or doing other odd jobs that were asked of them. Ylwa didn't question Ralfina, though, fearing that if she did, the offer would be / "I suppose you will probably be putting together some sort of shelter soon. You can place it next to mine so that you will be near at hand." Ralfina stated, and then studied Ylwa to see how she would / "I would be glad to." Ylwa grinned. br / Ralfina studied Ylwa a bit further. "You were planning to put a shelter together sometime soon, weren't you?" she asked, calling Ylwa's bluff. Ylwa's heart class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1""I wasn't," she responded quietly, "but I would really love to be your assistant more than anything. Please let me put a shelter together and live near you."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ralfina seemed to ponder something further for a moment. She then cautiously asked, "Am I incorrect in observing that you have not experienced your monthly issue since you returned from your extended absence?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa was puzzled. Was something wrong? Was she sick, and that was why her aunt was wanting to keep her nearby? She felt fine… most of the time. "You observed correctly." Ylwa answered somewhat timidly. What is she getting at?/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "You allowed one of the strangers you met on your adventure to mate with you, did you not?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa flushed crimson all over and looked down at her feet. "Yes." she mumbled. So they do know. I wonder who all knows. Is it just Ralfina, because she is so wise, or is the entire pack aware? I should have stayed out longer./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Ylwa, dear, you have mated and immediately afterward stopped having your flow. You are likely going to be giving birth to a pup within the next year." Ralfina explained kindly./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa's jaw dropped, and her heart fell to her feet. "But we didn't… we aren't… I thought… that…" Ylwa stuttered, then she realized her mistake. emThere were some instances where a pup was born to parents that weren't bonded/em. "I thought that pups were only born to parents that were bonded." Ylwa said quietly, hoping that Ralfina would tell her this was true, and so there was no possible way that this could be happening to her./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "No. It happens more often under that circumstance, but being bonded mates is not a requirement for producing pups." Ralfina responded compassionately./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1"Ylwa's world felt like it was jerking all over the place. She sat down to collect herself. emThere is no way. I suppose that it is not entirely terrible. I've never been opposed to the idea of pups… but a STRANGER'S pup? Does that mean that I have to go live with him and his pack?/emspan class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "I'm not going to be sent away, am I?" Ylwa asked Ralfina with panic in her eyes./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "No, dear. I have just asked you if you would like to spend your time while expecting and then nursing helping me out with my tasks. You will have plenty of opportunity to rest and to care for your youngster as needed, and will have something to do once you don't feel like transforming and going out any more."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Does this ruin any chance at becoming the mate of one of the males in the pack?"/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "No. It doesn't ruin it." Ralfina responded. "It will probably put it on hold for a few years, until your pup is old enough to join the community, but I have seen other females raise a pup for a few years and then end up in a happy, lifelong relationship with someone who wasn't the previous pup's father."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" Ylwa had so much whirring through her mind. She sat there in silence for a few moments, considering the implications of everything that she had learned./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "If you need anything or have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask. You can sit here and think for a bit. I am going to gather some more yellow mountain flowers. Just call if you need anything." Ralfina said./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "Thank you." Ylwa replied. "And thank you very much for your generous offer."/span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1" "You're welcome, dear." Ylwa's aunt replied./span/p  
p class="p2" Ylwa sat stunned in the grass until Ralfina told her that it was time to go home./p 


	9. Chapter 9

p class="p1"span class="s1" Over the next few weeks, Ylwa collected the pelts from all of her kills, and soon had enough to put together a shelter. She put it right next to her aunt Ralfina's and began assisting her full-time after that. She enjoyed learning which plants could be combined with other plants to make useful potions, which ones were harmful, and which ones canceled each other out in such a way that they made nothing. br / By four months after her adventure, Ylwa had accepted her new role in life. Hunting had become less comfortable, and she could see herself not wanting to do it at all any more if she continued to grow heavier. Based on her size, Ralfina had told her that she might be expecting twins, not a highly uncommon occurrence among werewolves. Ylwa had not told Ralfina this, of course, but she had begun to sense two heartbeats within her shortly after she had received the news that her life would be changing for the next few years. Just as Ylwa had grown comfortable with her new life, and even began to look forward to meeting these likely two children that she was expecting, she received news that an unexpected visitor had come / "Your mate is here." Eyulf, twin of Eyolf, informed Ylwa harshly. br / A wave of panic came crashing into Ylwa, and her knees threatened to give way. "I don't have a mate." she declared / "Well, we found some guy poking around the woods near here. We were going to drive him off or kill him, but he insisted that you would want to see him." Eyulf paused. "I didn't tell him that you were expecting his pups. You should go see him. He's northeast of the camp." he said / Ylwa's heart began racing and threatening to burst right through her chest. She didn't want to see him. She thought that part of her life was over, and she was happy about her new position working alongside Ralfina. Does he know about the pups? Did he do this on purpose? The bastard! Ylwa was now angry enough to face him without showing weakness. She resolved not to tell him that there were pups on the way if he couldn't figure it out on his own. She marched determinedly towards the area where she supposed that a few guards were waiting with / As Ylwa approached the clearing where, as she had correctly supposed, he was being guarded by three sentinels, she slowed and peeked from behind a tree, hoping to gain the advantage by being the one who controlled when this encounter would happen. He was chatting in a friendly manner with a couple of the pack members who were guarding him, but exuded an air of being uncomfortable and nervous. Her hate for him quickly dissipated and she suddenly felt like bursting out in tears, feeling bad for the rough treatment that he had surely experienced in trying to come and see her. He seemed so sincere. He always had. Ylwa rushed in to his rescue. She informed the males who were keeping an eye on him that he was not a threat. They disappeared between the trees, but she knew that they would be watching from a distance. br / Ylwa rushed towards him, but stopped short an arm's-length away. Sensing her fragile emotional state at the moment, he took a step closer to her and almost gave her a hug, but quickly pulled back uncertainly and instead laid a large hand gently on her shoulder. Ylwa dropped all pretenses and gave him a hug, nearly in tears as she asked, "They didn't hurt you, did they?"br / "No." he responded, then after a pause, added, "I didn't think you would want to see me."br / "I didn't." Ylwa told him, and then they both stood there in awkward silence for a moment./span/p  
p class="p2"span class="s1""Well, I came to see you because Accaila told me that you were in heat when we mated, and so you were probably going to have my pup. I came to see if she was correct" Jergen said bluntly. Accaila, Ylwa had learned, was the female that had been accompanying Jergen when they met. br / "Yeah…" Ylwa replied. Another long / "So you are?" he said, looking down to study her protruding / "Yeah." Ylwa said / "Oh." Jergen said uncomfortably, and then led her over to sit beside him to sit on the boulders that he had been leaning on before she walked into the clearing. They sat in silence for a few moments, eventually broken by Jergen's "I'm sorry."br / "Sorry for what?!" Ylwa exclaimed. "Sorry for using me and then leaving? Sorry for my pups? Because I love them and am looking forward to meeting and raising them with or without you!" Ylwa was about to continue on to ask him if he was apologizing for being a sorry excuse for a human or a werewolf when something clicked inside of her brain and she realized what she had revealed and stopped mid-stream of scathing comments. Jergen was just staring at her, eyes wide and mouth / "Them?" he / Then it was Ylwa's turn to be taken aback. She sat frozen as he had just a moment before. As a response, she snarled viciously at him and then got up and started stalking back towards the / "Wait!" he said. "Ylwa!" She didn't even slow. "I want to stay here with you… with your pack." He said. She paused her onward march, stopped, and slowly swiveled around to look at / "I have gotten permission to take an extended absence. They don't need me right now at home. I want to be here with you, and with our pup...s." He / Ylwa hesitated at this unexpected turn of events. Before he was swearing that he would never leave his false family, and now he was begging to become a part of hers. She spent a moment running options and possibilities through her / "You can stay," she said, hoping that she wasn't breaking some rule by allowing his presence in the pack's daily activities, "…but you are NOT living with me!" she snarled and began walking back towards the pack's central location. br / He caught up with her and walked silently at her side for most of the trip back. Rezso was waiting for them as they neared the campsite, flanked by one of the sentinels that had taken it upon himself to supervise Ylwa and Jergen's encounter. As they neared, he stepped into their path and glared intimidatingly at Jergen. "You can stay here with your female and your pups, outsider, but we WILL be watching you, and if you step out of line, or so much as THINK about betraying us or our location to anyone, Ylwa, your offspring, and your pack will never see or hear from you again. Do you understand?" he growled. br / Jergen, who seemed genuinely surprised at being treated in this manner, just stared with a blank expression at Rezso before saying, "Yes."br / "Good." Rezso said, and gave Ylwa a look that she couldn't decipher before stepping aside to allow the two to pass. He followed them at a distance as they approached the pack's main living area. Ylwa, not wanting to have to explain anything to anyone, stalked directly into her tent on the outskirts of the camping area. Jergen, following behind her, lifted up the flap of her tent and prepared to enter, where he was met with a solid wall of hostility. br / "Get out! I said you weren't living with me!" Ylwa shouted at him. br / "Where am I supposed to live then?" Jergen / "I don't know. Wherever you feel like living, I suppose." She / "I want to live here." he said, and placed one foot inside of her / "Get out!" she snarled threateningly. "I'm sure you'll figure out something." She could feel the presence of several pack members gathering about to stare at the newcomer, and even more were drawn by her not-so-subtle display of aggression. As he backed out, she heard Ralfina begin speaking reassuringly to Jergen and shooing the nosy onlookers away. She heard their voices drift off towards Ralfina's tent, where she was undoubtedly going to offer him some breakfast while explaining the ins and outs of pack life to him. emHe needs pack life explained to him,/em Ylwa thought. emFor someone who came from a pack, he certainly seems clueless./embr / That evening, Rezso insisted that Jergen hunt with himself and a few of the other strongest males in the pack. Upon their return, Ylwa did not see Jergen, but Rezso came stalking resolutely over to where Ylwa was gathering flowers for potion-making with class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1""I don't like him!" he declared. "Did you know that his so-called "pack" is mostly humans?! And I can see that he has no respect for authority! I can see why his pack leader "didn't need him for a while". If he were mine, I would have beat him into submission a long time ago."/span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "Why don't you?" Ralfina interrupted. She had silently appeared behind Ylwa while Rezso was on his rant. "If he is so insubordinate, why don't you show him why you are pack leader, instead of biting Ylwa's head off for it? She is not responsible for his behavior."/span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" Ylwa could smell a pang of something… was it uncertainty? as he considered the prospects. "He is a full-grown male. By this age, he has already made up his mind how he is going to treat authority. And Ylwa is responsible for his behavior coming into our lives, though. If it weren't for her, he would not be here right now. She is young and ignorant. We should never have let you go out on your own at that time." he told Ylwa. "From now on, any time that you wish to go out hunting, you must have an escort with you to supervise your encounters."/span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "Rezso, please reconsider. That is a heavy burden to lay on our Ylwa. She has always been a loner." Ralfina pleaded./span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "Obviously not enough of one." he said. "Otherwise she would not have associated with the rabble she brought into our lives."/span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "Rezo, that is enough." Ralfina said, gently but firmly, as she laid a hand on Ylwa's shoulder./span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "It's fine." Ylwa told Ralfina. "I have no interest in going out hunting any more anyways." Rezso just snorted and then departed in the direction he had come from./span/p  
p class="p3"span class="s1" "I haven't seen him get this worked-up over a newcomer in a very long time. Also, he has never hesitated to punish any male that stepped out of line when necessary before, no matter the age. It would appear as though he sees a strength in your Jergen that he fears may overcome him if they went at it. This is a very good sign for your pups, if either should happen to be male." Ralfina grinned at Ylwa. "Mother of the pack leader is always a good position to be in. I would know. I have been there before." Ralfina said./span/p  
p class="p3" "I am glad to hear that." Ylwa responded, but said no more for the rest of the night./p 


End file.
